I have to say, all of my Christian life, I've been wrestling with this issue concerning homosexuality and the best way to respond to it.
I grew up under my mom's tutelage to accept all people no matter what their baggage might be and when I first became a Christian in high school, it made sense to continue that perspective because it seemed clear Jesus wanted it that way. However, as I became loaded down with doctrine and theology and Christian culture, it became harder and harder to have an open hearted approach towards other people who were obviously living "dirty" lives.
Most of my aversion had to deal with fears of succumbing to the influence of sin myself. Later on, there was the added fear that close relationships with non-believers would undermine my religion. By this I mean, it seemed impossible to truly build a deep relationship with someone, warts and all, without feeling as though I were endorsing that person’s unorthodox lifestyle thus negating the doctrines of my own faith.
Oh sure, I could be nice to everyone on a superficial level, but to really build a relationship with someone minus the agenda of converting them, was just impossible. So, my gay friends who were once close to me became fringe acquaintances, as did all of my other "non-Christian" friends. Of course, I tried to keep in touch with them over the years for a chance to "plant a seed" here or there, but it was very clear that something was different about the level of intimacy we shared and no, it wasn't because I was "light" and they were "dark". It was because I had an agenda and they could smell it on me! I find this same experience reflected in other Christian lives as well and it has really bothered me for quite some time.
In hopes of trying to bridge the great divide between my religion and the worldliness around me, I would try to engage with non-believers on "middle ground" and alcohol-in-moderation was the neutralizer of choice. I've noticed that this approach has been quite popular with many Christians who want to seem approachable without losing their moral high mark.
As "balanced" as the approach seems to be, it certainly wasn't satisfying for me spiritually because deep down I knew I was still undermining the credibility of my own dogma. For instance, the Bible very clearly states that believers must stay sober and avoid drunkenness, but we have managed to soften that verse for own purposes and actually use drinking as a tool for witnessing.
The logic goes like this: if my unsaved partying friend wants to go out and drink, then I should go out too and show my friend that it's possible to be cool and still be a Christian. Yuck! How is that truthful? It's not. It's manipulative and nothing more than an attempt to have your cake and eat it too. Non-believers pick up on this right away and fellow Christians who engage in this approach also know deep down that there's something very false about what they're doing.
Especially when the topic of homosexuality comes up; which it almost always does in some form or another in Christian circles. With a glass of beer in one hand and a Bible in the other, Christians quickly recite a handful of verses to support their rejection of homosexuality. Never mind that Jesus never uttered those verses. Never mind that most of the verses take refuge in the Old Testament; which, according to many Christians, takes a backseat to the New Testament (evidence for this is supplied by the casual clutching of the beer, the eating of the oyster, and the worship fest on Sunday). Never mind that there are softer interpretations supported by Linguistics and Hermeneutics to lessen the damnation of the supposed anti-homosexual verses cited.
We conveniently disregard all of the obvious contradictions of our own behavior in hopes of leading someone out of theirs. Or worse yet, we engage in these behaviors with one another to convince ourselves that we're still cool.
Is it no wonder that my commitment to the traditional Christian lifestyle would wane and falter? I can see now that this inner dissonance has been the sole contributing factor to the spiritual roller-coaster ride I've experienced throughout my entire Christian life.
When I would start to feel like a Pharisee (a self-righteous prig), I couldn't stand myself and I would chuck out all of my religion and live like hell. But when I got tired of my spiritual depravity, I would turn back to God and embrace Christianity once again in hopes of getting cleaned up.
Back and forth and back and forth until finally, I found a preacher who was able to articulate a suspicion I always held but was afraid to utter for fear of committing heresy. The suspicion was this: God doesn't need my witness to save people. In fact, God doesn't need Christianity to save people! Jesus is bigger than Christianity and always was and always will be, so if every church was torn down and every doctrine burned up... God would still reach people and save them.
I don't believe it is up to me or anyone else to try and make conclusions about the condition of Ray Boltz's soul or whether he was ever really a Christian or if his declaration that God created him to be a gay man is heresy. I trust God to take care of Ray and I trust that God will not vanish just because Ray is a homosexual. I don't think Christianity is worse or better for Ray's admission because I don't think Christianity is the "seal that marks our salvation". God does that through the mercy, love and grace displayed for us by the life death and resurrection of Christ... a message that can be seen throughout all creation and therefore embraced by anyone at anytime.
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